Reasons for increasing number of Single Ladies

It is a simple fact that the number of guys refusing to marry is directly proportional to the number of ladies that are single and searching, reason being that it is these single guys that have refused to marry that ought to marry the single ladies that are searching and praying for husband.

Now, the question is: why do we have an abnormal increase in the number of single unmarried ladies that are searching for marriage partner today in Nigeria?

Sit back and read the preceding paragraphs and you will find out why and how women (married and single) can help curb this cankerworm eating deep into our modern Nigeria.

Before we forge ahead, you will agree with me that 10 to 20 years ago, men dominated the Nigerian workforce, with fewer number of women occupying top positions, but today, the table has turned as more women now secure better paying jobs than their male counterparts.

My personal study into this recent development showed that most Nigerian organisation boss who are mostly men above 45years, prefer to hirer pretty single ladies for non-engineering positions, which put guys in the non-engineering sectors at high risk of not securing good jobs when competing with ladies for same job position.

I also discovered that most multinational firms have a policy that encourages female gender empowerment, which make their HR team give preferential treatment to ladies seeking for same position with a male job applicant during recruitment exercise.

You can hardly discover this secret organisation policy until you are among the top management.

If you doubt this, try and go to Victoria Island in Lagos during close of work; 5 – 6pm (Monday – Friday), and you will notice higher number of young pretty females leaving their office premises in good cars, with few young guys leaving their workplaces in a car.

If you are observant enough, you will also discover that most of the male workers driving home from work are usually within the age range of: 38 – 60yrs, whereas more ladies within the age range of; 25 – 35yrs drive home from work, showing that more young ladies now have better jobs than guys.

This is also applicable to Abuja: same study was carried out within Central Business District of Abuja, CBD.

To many Nigerians, especially the ladies, it is a good trend; at least to them, it shows that ladies are becoming independent from guys, and to the old working class male directors and managers, it means nothing because they are at the receiving end (sleeping with these young pretty ladies for jobs, promotion, contracts, etc), but not until their own daughter(s) graduate from Harvard University or London School of Economics and returns back home to take up an executive position in her dad’s big firm, but only to go to bed every night weeping and soaking her pillows with tears simply because there is no responsible young man in her life ready to walk her to the altar and they live happily ever after like she reads from foreign novels and watch on Telemundo series.

No wonder many rich parents are now arranging marriage for their daughters; yet this doesn’t solve the imminent problem of abnormal increase in single young people in Nigeria of today.

Now, what am I blabbing about? The major reason we have increasing rate of single ladies in Nigeria today is not because witches in the villages have increased in number and now pursuing single ladies and stopping them from finding suitable husbands just as many modern pastors make these single ladies to believe in order to extort money from them & to grow their congregation, it is not even because single ladies of today lack good character or manner, neither is it because single ladies now dress indecently….nope, the major reason is harsh economy that is no longer favouring young single guys!

How do we expect a guy who graduated from higher institution and served his fatherland after 3 years and still unable to rent a decent apartment for himself, unable to cater for his own daily needs to think about getting married in this time and age?

How do we expect a young guy who after 4 to 5 years of passing out from NYSC is yet to secure a job that pays him up to a hundred thousand naira, and give him the opportunity of saving at least fifty thousand naira every month to wish to marry and give birth to children?

The earlier we Nigerians realise the dangers of having more young guys without good job, the better for us as a nation that wish to grow and have a happy, crime-free society.

I know some people will say: marriage is not everyone, while others will argue that must everybody marry? And the answer is yes, anybody who desires to marry ought to marry, but is that the case today? No!

Many young men want to marry, but the truth is that their pocket isn’t encouraging to take that bold step that marriage requires.

Some will also argue that must you wait till you have millions before you marry? And some will argue that marriage is not about money, but tell me: how do you sustain the kids that will follow after the wedding? How do you plan to pay for house rent, children increasing school fees, etc?

Do you want to plan the future of your kids on one rich relation or friend? That’s unfair to the unborn innocent children you want to bring to life, please don’t do it!

I know that not every guy or lady will be rich, but being comfortable to provide most of your needs should be compulsory at least!

I still remember the story of Adam and Eve which I read from “The Book of My Bible Stories” while I was a kid, it told us how God created man, Adam and gave him everything he needed and Adam will go to his garden in the morning to return at night lonely, such that God pitied him and said: it is not good for him to be alone, I will make him a help mate, and so God made Adam to fall deep asleep and then God came and removed one of Adam’s ribs and made Eve for him.

Adam woke up and saw Eve and was excited and said: this is the bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh (dunno if I quoted those words correctly).

What am I trying to say? God gave Adam his basic needs before sending him a woman!

A man deserves to have his basic needs met before thinking of getting married.

But it is so shameful that old married men in Nigeria occupying top positions in various organisations and firms gave and still giving jobs to single unmarried ladies who most times contribute nothing to the organisation’s growth, thereby causing more unemployment and underemployment of young single Nigerian guys, with a resultant effect of late marriage amongst these young single guys.

Shameful enough, many organisations today hire ladies by their physical attraction; once a member of the HR team admires the female applicant, whether she merits the job or not, he must ensure that she gets hired to the disadvantage of her male counterparts who most times have better skills to offer to the organisation.

THE SOLUTION

First, we must tell ourselves the truth: in Nigerian culture and norm, men are believed and expected to be the breadwinner of the family; the woman is only expected to assist and contribute if she has and can.

Bearing this in mind, majority if not all Nigerian single ladies searching for a life partner want and desire to marry a guy earning higher income than them.

All things being equal, no Nigerian single lady prays to marry a guy she’s earning more than; very uncommon in Nigeria.

But then, we have few single guys in Nigeria who earn that kind of income most Nigerian single ladies desire from their preferred partner. And as it stands presently in Nigeria, more single ladies between the age range of 25yrs – 35yrs have better paying jobs than single guys of the same age range, which means many single ladies in Nigeria will never find husband to marry except they lower their taste and marry a guy earning below them or they become second wife to older men.

All these anomalies were caused by older Nigerian men who set the wrong legacy for this nation in terms of bad leadership, sex-for-job in favour of single ladies, and more…and for this status quo to change, every Nigerian citizen must play a role to bring the much desired change we dream of in Nigeria, how?

1. As a young single lady working in a company, say no to the maltreatment of young single guys in your organisation because the more these guys are penalised and made not to grow, the more chances of you, your single sister, niece, friend or even aunt not finding a deserving husband to marry.

2. All HR personnel must ensure equity and fairness when hiring applicants for any job position. Stop the female gender empowerment; enough is enough, its not helping Nigeria, neither is it helping the world in general.

Women are happier when their husband or man is in charge financially than when they are in charge…even in Europe!

3. As a single lady, lower your financial expectation from guys- the table is turning, fewer guys now have good means of income compared to ladies; you ladies asked for gender equality, you now have it, please make use of it, don’t wait for a richer guy…if you are driving and you see a guy trekking whom you fancy, lift him and don’t be shy to startup a focused-relationship with him…waiting for the richer guys driving bigger cars than yours may keep you waiting for eternity and may bring you more heartbreak because such guys now know that they are king to women and so they treat ladies with little/no respect.

4. Encourage your single brothers to work hard, acquire skill, learn trade and explore business opportunities even if they are working. Help them with business startup capital…doing so will help create a deserving husband for a fellow single lady out there.

5. Stop squandering that single guy’s money!

Advice him to invest his income wisely! Encourage him to startup a side business to assist his salary because no salary is enough!

6. As a single guy, learn to be financially wise!

Quit those useless habits that drains your income! Quit smoking! Quit drinking! Quit gambling! Quit womanising; its a costly hobby! Quit clubbing around town! Quit squandering money on any girl who isn’t your wife! Learn to invest, learn to nurture a business aside your job and learn to spend lesser than you earn! Don’t use your last savings to buy a car just to feel among or just to attract irrelevant ladies! Car is more of a necessity until you become rich! For now, buying car should be to aid your financial growth and not for fun or pleasure!

7. As a single lady, pray for your single brothers, boyfriend, lover, or male friends and colleagues. Advice and encourage them whenever you can.

It is no longer easy for single young guys in Nigeria even though most of them won’t confess this to you due to male ego!

Let’s all wake up to the reality and pray that President Buhari and his team bring about the positive change in Nigeria’s economy to help curb this societal pressure.

Wish you all a blissful day ahead.

Excerpt from Nairaland
By HumilityPays

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I Give UP!!

Wake up! Wake up!! Lol…anything is possible though. I’ve learnt not to mix Sex with Love. It messes things up.

scorptastic

    The drum roll of life,
People talk…….  The empty words……… scorptastic

Why can’t love, mean Love?

Why can’t there be a compromise?

She gives up her former life;
Why can’t you give up philandering?

Why must “Love” mean sex?
With many not understanding the words they speak…..

Why can’t we just be together?
No barriers held. Not religion, not ethnicity, nor family!!!

Why must she ask for money all the time?
Do *I* resemble The Central Bank?

Why can’t you Love me the way I am?
Must I become *someone else* to be with you?

Why must he lie, “I have a Prado, work in Oil n Gas” to get your attention?

Why can’t he/she be Satisfied?
With one lover? “Is sex food?” or must *the other* catch so many STI’s before you STOP?

Why can’t we be contented?
… and grow together, upwards as each others support!!

Hmmmnn………

View original post 114 more words

What Next?

Ever liked someone it aches so much?

And there are times you want to do things to show how you feel but you feel the person is gonna see it as coming on too strong.

Maybe he doesn’t feel the same way?

Maybe you should just let it go.

Whenever he feels ready.

But for how long?

???

Then this thought comes into your head.

It says, “don’t kill yourself over what’s not certain

Let him go.

Cut all communications with him.

Sounds huge but to be able to rest your heart…you have to do the needful.

Then you delete his number, block him on whatsapp, unfriend him on Facebook, out he goes on bbm…he’s out of your social life.

Then the BIG question comes.

WHAT NEXT??

Are you happy? Or you’d do just fine?

The Break Up

Sometimes, meeting and dating someone nearby is always advised but when you need space things get complicated….well, I met a pretty lady online(Facebook) and we kicked it off pretty well…kept poking, sending messages and then the calls started…we hadn’t even met each other when we started having feelings for each other! We decided it was time to get real and be adults about it…we met and she was all I could have ever wanted in a woman. She felt the same way for me(maybe even more).
Then, reality dawned on us. She was more than a thousand kilometers away from me. We always kept in touch via calls and sms but the physical connection wasn’t as strong as we’d have loved it to be! She wanted to spend more time with me and I felt the same way but my responsibilities and her studies wouldn’t allow that to happen! First, the messages…then the calls started declining! She says I don’t call her as often as before(which I don’t deny) and whenever she calls, I’m always too busy to talk(also true) but you’ve(the reader) got to understand that I’ve got work to do…back to the issue at hand…she starts getting jealous and suspicious of me having affairs with my female friends! Now, after a few months of being together she finally sends me this,”Thanks 4 everything, time, sacrifices, love, cares…everything we shared. We can’t be together. I need a healthy life, need to get myself. We could still be friends. Am sorry”….she did exactly what I’ve wanted to do for a long time…I felt relieved that I wasn’t the one to call the whole thing off! That way, I don’t have the guilt of breaking another heart…wheeew!!! Glad its finally over!

Following Your Heart

Hey, I’m back…but not in a happy mood…what’s your fate? And following your dreams! This two have always haunted me! I really wanna be a Computer Genius but with the way things are right now, it really goes to show how much obeying your parents could cost you! And its an expensive one if I may add…I’ve always been a kid to respect and do whatever the boss(dad) says…at age 23, I really think its time for the boss(dad) to see me as an adult but no! What he wants should always comes first…ok fine, so he’s a businessman…he could as well employ qualified hands to run it under his supervision! What’s with him trying to put me through the pain of running it! I don’t like being caged…I wanna be free as a bird(though a bird isn’t entirely as free as we think)…I wanna explore my capabilities…know my strength! I wanna be ME! Not a puppet! At this age and time, parents still think they’ve got the right to put their kids through the torment of shaping them to suit their taste! NO!!! That’s wrong! I should be able to follow my destiny into achieving what I think is best for me! (((I know I sound like a kid with that last statement))) but the urge to break some rules is really getting into my head! I think its time to follow my heart, damning all consequences! I wanna be ME!!!

The Nigerian Police and the (In)Justice System

Nigerian Police

Nigerian Police

It was sunny in the afternoon and I had to get off from work early cos I wasn’t feeling too well…2:30pm precisely…working in the City of Gidi has its advantages and disadvantages…but today wasn’t a good one! First, my burning temperature. Next, the slow movement of traffic from Ikeja-Along to Dopemu!… I remembered what my friend posted on Facebook the other day,”I am not sorry to say this – I HATE THE NIGERIAN POLICE FORCE!!! They are all bunch of Blood Sucking Corrupt Bastards. Extorting money from citizens going about their legitimate businesses. I wish them all the PAIN and HEARTACHE they inflict on Nigerians!”…all in his own words…I don’t blame him for expressing himself…The Nigerian Policemen have been using the law to justify their wrong doings…I remembered while in the university, a police team drove into our building requesting that we produce the person that just ran in(of which we had seen no one)…while trying to explain that there was no one hiding in our premises before I could spell J.A.C.K. I received a slap to my face! What was the reason for that…they’re are the police and have the right to do whatever they like!….let’s go back to the present time, what actually triggered this “police-ish” was the siren I heard while on my way home…from afar I could hear the Police Siren. Oops! I didn’t mention that the other side of the road was in a deadlock…but the Nigerian Police deemed it fit to break the “one-way” rule just to escort the Police Commissioner’s wife to wherever she was going…it made me wonder, if the average Nigerian going home wasn’t any important as the Commissioner’s wife! I don’t know if they realise that this single act of lawlessness have come to show that they have no regard for the law that they’re meant to preserve and enforce, all they’re after is their personal gain…I don’t blame these recruits…its the police chiefs that’s got to have the large chunk of the blame…the picture here shows 3 police officers harassing a cab driver for no just cause…and they say,”the police is your friend” but they forgot to complete the statement by adding”….if you’ve got your money”…proper training and certification needs to be the criteria before recruitment…have them undergo both Spoken and Written English tests, Ethics and Value classes…and be evaluated to see if they’re Psychologically and Medically fit for the job…

His First Love

2006…I know I’ve always felt something for her but we were just friends at the moment…every night became longer than usual cos I yearn to see her face every morning…and the day shorter cos I couldn’t seem to get enough of her presence! Her absence turns my stomach and her presence feels me up that I had no need for physical food…but we were STILL just friends…
2007…Her selfless act of love and care was so intoxicating that I found myself drowning in love but I couldn’t get the words out of my system…I wanted more time around her…LIME and HONEY was her remedy for whenever I had cough and sore throat…then, he came into my life again M. Hamilton, he gave me the courage to step up and make my feelings known to her! I decided a letter would do the trick, but NO…I went back for it cos I couldn’t stand the sight of someone else finding it…Alas!!! the idea of posting peotry struck me! But I still couldn’t tell her how I really felt…
Still 2007…It was “all or nothing”…I decided it was time to make or break…after three persuasive trials, she said YES…I felt like I was $50m richer! How wrong could I have been?…she loved someone else and I was so blindly in love with her that I told myself it wasn’t important…(Olumide or Olamide) I still can’t get his name right! Lol…she loved him and I loved her! I wasn’t a fool, I was in love…but that didn’t change the fact that I had a wonderful experience being in a relationship…though, I didn’t get to tell her that I wasn’t into her “coconut rice”…but ate it anyway! *sober* I even pictured a future of us together with ours kids! How foolish could I have been! But I was in love…my very first love. My first kiss was with her and I felt like Superman! Her lips were full and soft and I thought that was all I needed to stay alive!…………………..sadly, it dawned on me that I was living a dreamer’s life and as difficult as it was, I had to let her go! I had to let my most priced asset go, hoping to win her back but she was long gone before she even left! She wasn’t mine and we weren’t meant to be! Thanks to O. Oloyede, A.J. Akanni, C. Adejare, L. Dibie, Y. Odeyinde, I recovered so fast…at least, a month in tears has saved me a life time of regret…T.T.D’A…you showed me how not to expect what I wish for! And I’m happy to have met you…you broke a lover’s heart but I think it was worth it…don’t want you back but can’t forget you! *hugs and kisses*